DIGITAL DIVERSIONS: JUNE 2013

CLASH OF CLANS (SUPERCELL; iOS & ANDROID; FREE)

This asynchronous combat strategy appeared to me like a digital Frankenstein. Picking and choosing desirable limbs from an extensive list of contemporary games, developer SUPERCELL sutured together what I assumed could only be a monster. Although, initially apprehensive, I soon came to realize that this game was, however, not analogous to the grotesque reverie summoned to the page by Marry Shelley. Clash of Clans is, quite to the contrary, more akin to the libidinous Lisa of Weird Science. Born of a Barbie doll, a bolt of lightning and a program coded on a Memotech MTX512, Lisa was everything a virginal nerd could hope for, then and now. Similarly, Clash of Clans is an arrestingly well-executed game. A game that, had it not been for the countless months of my diligent hard work in rehabilitating you, might be out of reach. This particular title, therefore, stands as a benchmark of how far you’ve come in realizing your worth in the world. I hope, for your sake, you are capable.

The player begins by cultivating a small, Viking-esque town that relies upon gold and elixir to sustain itself and grow. Simple tech developments, a common element to all strategy games, enhance your community’s ability to raid and conquer other players in a more efficacious manner. The game is free to play, but resources take real time to accrue, units with which to raid take time to “train” and tech upgrades also require patience. This can, of course, be overcome by spending the purchasable in game currency (gems) to fast track development. There is little reason to concern yourself with such things, however, as I’m certain the pace of the game will be sufficiently quick as is for a “gamer” such as yourself.

The real thrill of the game comes from attacking that enemy whose defences are insufficient and stockpiles are overflowing. With bi-weekly ladders and a global community with which to compete and compare the game has an intensely competitive nature, but gives the player the distance and security to enjoy it in bite-sized pieces. As a favour to my devoted readers I will begrudgingly be accepting new clan mates. Search out the “Epicurean Club” and join me in my conquest of the realm — if you feel worthy of such an honour.

By Theron Swift